Juice-ly 29th - FLASHBACK: Temptation Island.

NOTE: These entries were originally posted on Facebook during November 2014, a month in which I embarked on my first super-extended juice. I began the month with some significant health problems and ended it some 40 pounds lighter! 

Since then, I have eaten a whole-food, plant-based diet and lost about 135 lbs. - and counting. I hope you are able to benefit from my struggles. Enjoy, and feel free to leave a comment! 
 

Those vultures are circling because they know my willpower is dying.

I think it was Martin Luther who first said, "You can't prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair." He was talking about our tendency as humans toward sin, but I can apply that sentiment just as effectively to my personal war against food addiction and compulsive overeating. It's not up to the rest of the world to get rid of the things that might tempt me (the birds flying over my head). That's always going to be there, in one form or another. In fact, I'm pretty good at making temptation out of good things (see my latest skirmish, in April and May, with vegan junk food).

No - I'm going to need to identify these temptations when they arise, and rely on God's strength alone to resist. Even as I approach my goal weight, some seventy-five pounds lighter than I was when I first recorded these thoughts, the same struggles remain. That doesn't make me abnormal, though. I just know that from now until God calls me home, my quality of life will largely be defined by the extent to which I war against my naturally self-destructive tendencies, including compulsive overeating.

Thanks for reading! Read on...

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Juicevember 22nd (279.8 lbs.) - Family Day at the Mall. We started a tradition this semester: on days of home football games we would take advantage of the (theoretically) reduced traffic and head somewhere as a family. Thankfully the black ice had slushified by the time we were ready to go to Polaris today.

I haven't really had much of a chance to see my daughters play with other kids, but there's no better place to see how they interact with others than a mall play area. They both did pretty well! My intrepid little two year old slid down the same slide about three dozen consecutive times, and my initially cautious but ultimately fearless four year old showed her emerging daredevil side by balancing and jumping off some pretty formidable rocks. Personally, my heart was in my throat for a second as she almost fell off the back of a large plastic panda, but I didn't go lunging for her like I wanted to. Sometimes kids have to play, and fall, and run to their parents to get dusted off, and get back out there again knowing it's okay to do it all again. 

The Food Court: So many choices, so few unclogged arteries.

On the way out we had to take one last family trip, to the restrooms. Of course, they were located in the heart of the food court. I don't know if you've ever been assaulted by scents, but I certainly was this afternoon. All kinds of greasy American takes on foreign cuisine were readily available: Japanese steak, Chinese fried rice and seafood, Mexican tacos and burritos, Italian pizza, and on and on. Not to mention good ol' American burgers and fries. I don't think I'll ever be over the distinct smell of sauteeing onions and peppers, but the rest of it just kinda blended in together as I subconsciously (but amazingly effectively) started breathing through my mouth.

This amount of food is one of the main reasons why such a large portion of the country is overweight, I thought. I tried in vain to find anyone who looked even remotely happy eating their lunch. It's really all about how a food tastes, since it's obviously not providing the nutrients our bodies need to function at their highest levels.

Once I begin to incorporate solids back into my diet, would I be willing to sacrifice my health for a few moments of pleasure? I know sometimes that answer is going to be "OF COURSE!" but I'm hoping those moments are few and far between, compared to the times when I choose life-giving, natural food. #‎juiceon

The Church Potluck: So many choices...

Juicevember 23^rd (278.6 lbs.): Sweatin' like a food addict at a church potluck. In which I live to tell the tale of just saying No, thank you (and God bless you!) at an event geared towards mass consumption of tasty, potentially unhealthy (mostly) casseroles.

First, a small but extremely meaningful win. I pulled out my "regular fat" pants from the bottom of a box in the back of the basement to wear to church this morning. Mind you, I couldn't even imagine fitting into these pants at Halloween, and they fit perfectly! Maybe even a little too big. So that was nice. The jeans got buttoned, but don't ask me to, you know, put stuff in the pockets yet or anything. Talk to me in two weeks, though. I'm definitely looking forward to continuing to shop in my own old clothes boxes as the weeks roll on!

As you've probably gathered from the somewhat lengthy title and subtitle, today was our church's thanksgiving potluck. With a week left before the end of the month, I wanted to see how much being in a situation where all kinds of tasty dishes were both available and being consumed all around me would affect me. I was all set to sip on my lunch juice while everyone else ate six different kinds of potato salad, macaroni and cheese, and the pastor's award-winning venison curry. Then, of course, topped it all off with cookies and pie from the dessert tables.

THESE meatballs. I could have eaten a thousand of them this time last year...

You know those meatballs that you can by frozen, I think in packs of 200 like cotton balls, then just throw in the crock pot with barbecue sauce or whatever? And they always turn out amazing? Yeah. I could eat several dozen of those without even blinking, and I think I probably have at one or other of these events. Everything else, pretty much, could be rationalized out of existence today. (Not homemade macaroni and cheese.) But the meatballs were missed.

I have no idea why I decided to change my plan at the last minute, but I made a conscious decision NOT to bring my juice along. Nope, I was going to try to make it through the morning with only a Camelbak bottle of water and my hot water with lemon. Part of me wanted to try not to use the juice as a coping mechanism; another part of me wanted to make an effort to see just what I was missing by not indulging.

As it turns out, I missed a whole lot, and not all that much. Of course it's always worth the effort to pray for God's help in any trial like this one, but at no time did I feel any urge at all to, say, dump meatballs onto a plate and just go to town. Eventually, I'm thinking I'll be able to actually hold meaningful conversations at one of these events, rather than just focusing intently on playing with my kids and not acknowledging the cravings I've shoved waaaay to the back of my subconscious.

Towards the end of the lunch, one of the guys from my small group came up and said, "Are you ready to gain 20 pounds this season?" To which I replied, "I'm actually going to *lose* weight this holiday!" God willing! I guess it officially started today, huh? And ends about six weeks from now? We'll see if I'm going deeper into the back of the basement to find clothes or not. ‪#‎juiceon

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In tomorrow's flashback post, I have a meaningful conversation with a friend who is also struggling with many of the same issues I am, and consider the nature of my addiction as I approached the end of that fast. Stay strong, my friends! Peace and blessings to all!!